Is your partner done with dating sites?

Starting Fresh: How to Know Your Partner’s Done with Dating Sites

New relationships are like a perfect spring day—full of hope, butterflies, and just a hint of “wait, is this too good to be true?” You’re excited about this person, but if you’ve ever been burned before, one question might linger: Are they still swiping on dating apps behind my back? It’s a fair worry—dating sites are a buffet of options, and you want to be sure your partner’s plate is reserved for you. Here’s how to get that peace of mind without turning into a paranoid detective. Spoiler: it’s less about snooping and more about building something solid together.

1. Have the “Where Are We?” Chat Early
The best way to know if your partner’s off dating sites? Ask them. Yeah, it sounds obvious, but timing is everything. A few dates in, when things start feeling real, casually bring up exclusivity. Try something like, “Hey, I’m really into this—how do you feel about us being just us?” It’s direct but chill, and their answer will tell you a lot. If they’re all in, they’ll likely mention ditching the apps without you even prodding. If they hem and haw, that’s a yellow flag—keep your eyes open. The goal isn’t to grill them; it’s to set a vibe where you’re both on the same page.

2. Watch Their Actions, Not Just Their Words
People can say anything—“Oh, I deleted Tinder ages ago!”—but do their habits back it up? If they’re always hiding their phone screen or getting weirdly jumpy when a notification pings, it might raise an eyebrow. On the flip side, if they’re open about their phone (like leaving it face-up while you’re chilling) or they’ve stopped mentioning “this funny profile I saw,” it’s a good sign they’re not still browsing. Actions speak louder than promises, so pay attention to the little cues. Trust your gut—it’s usually smarter than you think.

3. Suggest a Fun “Digital Detox” Together
Here’s a sneaky-but-cute move: propose a mini app cleanse as a couple. Say something like, “I’ve been thinking of deleting some old apps I don’t use anymore—what about you?” It’s a low-pressure way to see if they’re still clinging to Hinge or Bumble. If they jump at the chance to clear out their dating profiles with you, awesome—you’ve got a keeper. If they dodge it or make excuses (“Uh, I might need it for… networking?”), that’s a hint they’re not ready to log off. Plus, you both get a little screen-time break out of it—win-win.

4. Check In on the Apps (If You Must)
Okay, let’s say you’re still not sure, and the curiosity’s eating at you. You could do a quick recon mission—search their name or pics on the apps they used to use. Most dating sites let you browse without messaging, so it’s not like you’re crossing big boundaries. If their profile’s gone or hasn’t been active since you got serious, breathe easy. If they’re still popping up with a fresh selfie from last week? Time for a bigger convo. Just don’t make this your go-to—snooping can spiral, and you don’t want to kick off a relationship with trust issues.

5. Build a Bond That Makes Apps Irrelevant
Here’s the real secret: the stronger your connection, the less you’ll worry about dating sites. Focus on creating a relationship that’s too good to risk—plan fun dates, share inside jokes, be each other’s go-to for the highs and lows. When someone’s genuinely into you, swiping for someone else starts to feel pointless. Ask yourself: Are they showing up for me? Are we clicking? If the answer’s yes, chances are they’ve already forgotten their login to Plenty of Fish. A great relationship doesn’t leave room for “what ifs.”

6. Trust, But Verify (Gently)
Old-school wisdom says “trust but verify,” and it’s not a bad motto for new love. You don’t need to turn into Sherlock, but you also don’t have to be naive. If you’ve talked about being exclusive and their behavior lines up—no late-night “work calls” or sudden secrecy—you’re probably in the clear. Still jittery? Drop a playful line like, “I bet you’re glad to be off those apps now that you’ve got me, huh?” Their reaction—laughter, agreement, or awkward silence—will clue you in. Keep it light, but let them know you’re paying attention.

The Bottom Line
New relationships are about finding your footing together, and that includes knowing your partner’s done shopping around. It’s not about catching them out—it’s about building something you both feel secure in. Start with honesty, watch for consistency, and sprinkle in a little faith. If they’re still lurking on dating sites after all that, maybe they’re not ready for the real thing—and you deserve someone who is. So, take a deep breath, enjoy the honeymoon phase, and let the swiping stay in the past where it belongs.

Got a new-relationship tip of your own? Share it below—I’d love to hear!